Friday, May 13, 2016

Affirmation Cards

Footprints In The Sand
Last week I talked about the power of positive self-talk. One of my favorite tools in my toolbox when it came to positivity were my affirmation cards. Those bad boys helped pull me out of some dark times. I still have them in my backpack full of goodies…just in case.

The two purple index cards, although a little tear-stained, could just as well have been a full suit of armor; that’s how well they served me during the time I was recovering from Relational Trauma.

When I was going through a trigger, I’d whip them out and start to read. Sometimes it’d take ten times, sometimes just once, but reading them usually calmed me down. Many times I read them aloud, I didn't care what was going on around me. Hearing those words reminded me where I was - the present. It also kept me grounded. Eventually, those words reminded me that I had value too. I was worth something and so are each and every one of you.

Here’s what they say:

       I am strong
       I am beautiful
       I am confident
       I feel good about my body
       I am worthy
       I am worth only the best
       I am thinking loving thoughts about Devin and myself
       I am unique and special
       I am stronger than my triggers
       I am healing
       All is well in my world
       I am calm
       I am relaxed
       I am at peace
       I trust the process of life
       I am supported and loved
       I can handle this
       I trust in God
       I am powerful

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
       I didn’t cause it
       I can’t cure it
       I can’t control it
       But I can take care of myself
       By communicating feelings, making healthy choices
       And celebrating myself.

Between my affirmation cards, the picture Devin made for me, and Footprints, I always had something nearby to read.

Do you have a special poem or prose you like to read when your stressed?


 

26 comments:

  1. Those cards are exactly what you need.
    I go to Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

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    1. I love those cards. Even though I don't use them as much as I used to, I take comfort knowing that they're still there because I drew so much strength from them. I love your verse. Prayer strengthens me too.

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  2. For me there's a disconnect between reading the words and believing them. I read them and go, 'yeah right. I'm a fat ugly cow not worthy of anything except crap cause I'm a horrible person and don't deserve love, or deserve to live and maybe it's time to take all my xanax, stick a hose in the tailpipe of my car and turn on the engine.'

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    1. When I was at my lowest point, I read the affirmation cards aloud, in the mirror, and I read them several times a day. It was a way to help me reprogram myself, my way of thinking. I had to overcome a couple of things: the damage done from Relational Trauma after finding out about Devin's sex addiction, (my self-esteem plummeted) and I was working on reprogramming my brain from the hurtful things my mom repeatedly told me.

      Those negative thoughts are powerful, JoJo, but YOU are stronger and YOU are worth more than what you were told by anyone. You deserve love and happiness, which is what you have now with your hubby. You are beautiful inside and out - never forget that. Hugs.

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  3. This is ironic because I'm not a Christian, but the 23rd Psalm has always been a source of calm for me. King James Version, of course.

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    1. I think many of the verses from Psalms can "reach across the aisle" :)

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  4. A grand way to help out and keep the positive flowing indeed when in need. I more or less just tell myself shit happens and keep on a going. When you've been to hell, nothing much bothers you any more haha

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    1. Hey, if it works, it works. I think when life has dealt us a crappy set of cards and we still manage to come out with a winning hand, we've found the right mindset to get us there...so long as we aren't neck deep in denial haha

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  5. I love the affirmations you selected! To change us, we have to change our thinking, and that begins with our brain - what goes in, what we say to ourselves.

    There is a book by Chad Helmstetter called What to Say When You Talk to Yourself and it's excellent. I even got to see him speak in person. But it's amazing how the brain works and how we can reprogram it.

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    1. Thank you, Diane. For me, it took repetition and lots of it for it to really sink in. I was really down on myself after all that happened. I'll have to take a look at Chad's book. I'm all about surrounding ourselves with positive people and positive things so when our lives take a turn towards the negative, it's easier to see our way through to the other side.

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  6. I really and especially like the final list - "I didn't cause it. I can't cure it..." Powerful, true words for practically everything we get down on ourselves about.
    Love you, girlfriend.

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    1. When the shit hit the fan after disclosure, I had to remember it wasn't my fault and that was hard to do. Any time he had a slip, I felt it was because of something I did or didn't do, or maybe I wasn't pretty enough. Now I know it's all on him. But it took awhile to get there. Love you too!!

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  7. I'm with Robyn. The second list, or your personal variation thereof, is practically a requirement for survival in this world.

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    1. And it's the hardest one for people who've been through Relational Trauma to understand - or those who've been with people with any kind of addiction. We tend to blame ourselves instead of them. It's a hard habit to break.

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  8. Hi Elsie - those cards can be so inspiring at times to bring us back to some degree of sensibility ... and help so many - even picking one up and looking at the words staring out at us .. usually just what we need - well done on carrying them around with you ... good luck and cheers Hilary

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    1. Hi Hilary! They were a lifesaver for me for a long stretch of time. I was a big puddle of mess after Devin's disclosure and those things reminded me how strong I was on the inside. That I am worthy, I am strong, and I could overcome the triggers when they hit. I was grateful to have discovered the class that taught me how to use them. Be well :)

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  9. I could probably do with them now and again though!

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  10. I believe in positive self talk and that one on top is my favorite~ Here's mine:

    Everyday in every way I’m getting better and better. E. Coue ~

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  11. If we all said more good things to ourselves we would all be happier, when she was a teenager my daughter use to have positive sayings posted around her room to remind her that life was good and she was a worthwhile person

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    1. One of my kids has positive messages written on their mirror. I think it's a great way to start the day each morning - to see that and remind yourself to start off on a good note.

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  12. I never thought this was something I actually did (since I don't have index cards) until I realized I say a lot of those things to myself. Mostly while pacing and hitting my chest to fire myself up. But hey, we all inspire ourselves in different ways, right?

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    1. Now that's something I'd like to have a video of, Bryan. You walking back and forth, banging on your chest and muttering to yourself. That'd be quite a sight! :)

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  13. Hi human, Elsie,

    Now then, this is something that my human relates to and I relate to. Pawsitive affirmation cards reinforce the pawsitivity that's right there in front of us. My human did a whole series of pawsts very much like this. We appreciate your reinforcement.

    Indeed, it's better to live life with realistic pawsitive anticipation rather than negative speculation.

    Thank you, my thoughtful human friend.

    Penny :)

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    1. Hello Penny! It's so great to see your furry face. I hope your human, Gary is doing well and getting plenty of rest and positive vibes. I know you're taking great care of him and making sure he's getting lots of love and attention. Tell him I said hello!!

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