Sunday, March 13, 2016

Thank You Terry Crews!

You’ve heard their names and seen their faces:

Tiger Woods


 
David Duchovny


 
Charlie Sheen


 
Anthony Weiner

All of them have the same thing in common: they're all self-proclaimed porn addicts. Some also admitted that their addiction to porn led them to becoming sex addicts.

Maybe you remember the headlines in each celeb’s case? Tiger Wood's wife smashing out his car window with a gulf club. Or the sexting scandal of Anthony Weiner that ruined his political career. Who can forget Charlie Sheen’s proclamations of “Winning!” in 2011?

The one thing they all seemed to have in common was that it took a big life event for them to  announce their addiction to porn. The addiction that led them to cheat on their loved ones and do things they thought unfathomable until the claws of the disease were dug in deep.

Then along came Terry Crews.
 
A man of strong body. A man of strong mind. A man of strong character. And a man plagued by an addiction to porn since the age of twelve. He didn’t need a scandal to let him know it was time to address his addiction. He needed the support, understanding, but most of all, the ultimatum, of his wife, Rebecca King-Crews to get him to where he is today. She explained that she didn’t recognize him anymore and that scared him, so he checked himself into rehab.

No longer would Crews see himself as a victim of his circumstances. No longer would he allow himself to feel alone and isolated, and leave himself vulnerable to viewing porn and down the dark path of cheating on his wife again. Now Cruz is actively speaking out against porn and the damage it can do in some couple’s relationships.

Terry Crews does not hang his head in shame. Instead, he educates the public by talking about the movement Fight The New Drug  whenever he’s given an opportunity and he does it in a way that only Crews can, with that endearing charm, wit, and a touch of humor too.

I am so thankful that he and his wife are spreading the word about porn and sex addiction. With a couple like this out there, it gives me hope that one day Devin and me won’t be forever hiding in the shadows.

Check out his Facebook videos. They’re short and well worth the listen.


Thanks Mr. and Mrs. Crews!

Do you know about any celebrities who've come out as sex/porn addicts? Did it change your opinion of them?

46 comments:

  1. He did something about it before hitting rock bottom. That's rare.
    I do remember when Duchovny announced his addiction. Wasn't he playing a sex addict in a television show at the time, Californication?

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    1. Yeah, it really is rare. From what I read, it sounds like the same scenario that Devin and I went through: things progressively got worse and she said if he didn't get help she'd leave so he got the help he needed and has been an activist ever since. I think you're right about Duchovny.

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  2. What a great post- not only from that idea of his choice, but your publicizing something POSITIVE in this sordid scene. Thank you for being inspiring!

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    1. Oh, and my apologies for snickering at Anthony Weiner. High school WAS just 40 years ago...

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    2. Thanks, Chris, I appreciate that more than you know. I try to keep things positive over here and his is such an inspirational tale I felt I had to share it when I heard about it a couple of weeks ago.

      Hey, you're not the only one who still giggles at stuff from high school. My husband does too. haha

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  3. Can't imagine how difficult it must be to get "sober" with the influence of the internet everywhere you go. Amazingly tough situation to overcome.

    *waves to you Elsie!*

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    1. Lu!!! So good to "see" you! Hope you know how much you've been missed. I hope all is well with you and yours. I think of you often. Yes, between the internet and the sexualization of just about everything, it's difficult to keep sobriety in check.

      Big waves back to you :)

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  4. That is great for him to do indeed, helping all realize that help is out there. Educating will hopefully help a lot more people.

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    1. I'm hoping for the same, Pat. He's such a motivational speaker. When you listen to him you can't help but smile and nod along. A great inspiration!

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  5. That is good news and maybe people will have a better understanding of this issue. It is a tough one to talk about. I remember when Duchovney talked about it and I have to admit I shook my head but I know I am not educated in this. I equate it with people who have a problem with compulsive shopping. No one talks about money...it is easier to say one has an alcohol addiction than to say one has financial problems. The stigma is still strong because parents never talked about sex or finances. Both are important and both are everywhere! You can't go anywhere without being asked for a credit card or to live the good life, you need an American Express. Since I work as a Credit Counsellor , I see this quite a bit. If people take the time to listen, don.t judge and have an open mind, maybe there will be more help. This man is starting things off.

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    1. You've hit the nail on the head, Birgit. I think because it's still considered a taboo issue by so many people, it's not always taken seriously by everyone. It makes it easier to roll your eyes or dismiss it when you hear someone say they have an addiction and that's why they can't stop looking at porn or cheating on their spouse, or as you said, shopping and gambling. If they don't personally know someone or experience it themselves, it's hard to understand it. Because people know more people who suffer from drug and/or alcohol addiction that's easier to accept. But with more stories like Crews, this will be more accepted over time, I think.

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  6. I really hate porn. It's so gross. I don't get the big attraction to it at all. If my husband looks at it anymore (since I came here), I don't know cause I am not about to ask. He knows how I feel about it. The 4 or 5 videotapes I found in his stuff went in the garbage. But he wouldn't take it to the extreme either, I know he'd never cheat on me. Still though, I don't want to see it.

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    1. That's one of the reasons I like the the movement Fight The New Drug that Crews is part of. They don't judge either way on whether porn is good or bad but feel that too much of anything, to any extreme as you said, including porn, is not healthy. That's how I felt when I met Devin. I don't mind porn in moderation but too much isn't healthy, in my opinion.

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  7. That was an interesting read. Intriguing actually.

    To answer your questions - I'm not up on what celebs do sexually so I really don't know who's outing themselves on this topic. As to it changing my view or how I feel about a celeb - no, I don't judge other mere mortals based on their failings because I'm one of them. My failings may not be this topic but lord knows I have others.

    I wish you and Devin success in coming through your journey. I have deep and profound admiration for you, Elsie; you are a woman of substance - I hope your husband understands just how lucky he is.

    Sent with hugs and smiles, Jenny

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    1. Hi Jenny! So good to see you! I hope you're doing well. I'm with you. Through what Devin and I have gone through, it's made me quite humble and learn how not to be so quick to judge others and what they've gone through. I think we've each got our our trials and tribulations and when I see people out and about I try to remind myself of that when someone doesn't present themselves in the best of ways. It's not all about me ;) Many smiles back to you!!

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  8. My husband says porn is the most addictive for men and the man who says he's never looked at it is lying. Good for Terry that he got help before it destroyed his world.

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    1. Porn was one of the most difficult things for my husband to stop without help. Devin found help through an online program called Candeo, thank God. We're so grateful he did and that he's using it again. Yeah, so glad Terry Crews was able to turn things around too.

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  9. What an inspiring man! I admire him for sharing such a difficult story and being so open about it.

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    1. I found it to be very inspiring too. I'm so glad he shares his story so openly with others.

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  10. There's one particular in the list, that I find, is just a cocky little fucker. Call it what he wants, he's a buttdick, that just got caught. Good.

    But anyway, here is wishing you a great week ahead.

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    1. Hmmm, I can't help but wonder who it is...methinks it's Charlie Sheen, although I'm not certain, but that's my guess...

      My week has been a busy one, that's for sure, but hey, I can't complain. Besides, who'd listen? Here's a good week to you too!

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    2. No, I don't know anything about Sheen.

      haha, we would listen, that's who!

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    3. haha, that's true. Lord know's I've done my share of complaining on here :)

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  11. Hi Elise - I didn't know they were addicts per se - guess I'd never thought about it .. yes for Tiger, but the others I didn't know - but then I don't read those sorts of magazines and I'm not American ... I'd heard about Weiner ...

    Interesting .. and I'll look at people differently when I see something similar - and understand it could be an addiction. Good for Mr and Mrs Crews as you say ...

    All the best and thanks for highlighting this for us ... cheers Hilary

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    1. It definitely made the news all across America and certainly in the tabloid news in all the newsstands. It seems you couldn't stand on line at the store and not see their names smeared across the headlines of whatever news rag was in the rack at the time. But thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Crews, hopefully it won't like that for much longer. Hopefully, it won't be so newsworthy a topic anymore. Thanks, Hilary!

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  12. I've always admired Terry Crews.
    Now I have another reason.

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    1. I think he's a great motivational speaker when it comes to living healthy and now he's a great spokesperson for this too.

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  13. I've always admired Terry Crews.
    Now I have another reason.

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  14. I didn't know this and I admire men like Terry Crews who sought help and in turn, help other addicts ~ Thanks for sharing Elsie ~

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    1. I love when I hear stories of addicts helping other addicts. I think that's what it's all about. Lending a helping hand to those who need it. Giving so freely what was given so freely to us...as they say in our meetings.

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  15. I remember Duchovney was having problems with this addiction back during the X-Files. Finding out about it hasn't change how I feel about him as an actor. I don't actively dislike anyone on the list except for Sheen, but that's just because he's a horrible person all the way around.

    People like Crews actually help rather than hurt when they come out. Because it's not in the aftermath of a publicized scandal, people can stay calm and listen to what he has to say. There's less judgement and more understanding and compassion.

    Hope life is treating you well!

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    1. I like how you look at things, or more aptly put, people, Anne. You give them a fair and honest assessment. I think Sheen had a very public meltdown. I'm not sure where he is today, emotionally. I understand he has led a troubled life and think he has a long journey ahead of him, especially with HIV to deal with. Hopefully, he will turn things around and take an honest look at his life and make a change for the better.

      I agree with you; people like Crews help so much. They take what Sheen did - all that negatively and turn it around, put a positive spin on it and say, "look, we aren't a bunch of freaks. We're normal human beings with addictions, just like you." I love him for that!

      Life is treating me great! Summer is around the corner...the beach!!!! Woot! Woot!

      I hope you're gardening. I miss seeing you around!

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  16. Never heard of Terry Crews, just saying, also porn not something that interests me at all, I remember when Tim and I were still dating we went over to his fathers place and stuck in a porn movie and didn't why I got up and walked out, telling Tim I would wait in the car, thankfully Tim came out moments later and we left, he also said sorry for his dad's behaviour

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    1. Isn't is strange? Some guys are into it and some just aren't...and some, well, some are into it way too much and end up with an addition. Funny how our brains are wired differently. I have to admit, I've never understood why my own brain was wired to be addicted to cocaine but not alcohol. Bizarre. I'm glad Tim did the right thing and walked out. You got a good man! No wonder you've been together so long. :)

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  17. i don't want to judge anyone on the bases of their flaws as no one is perfect we all have flaws less are more somewhere in our personality ,but i wish hope and pray that may God help us to walk on right path and reduce our mistakes

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    1. I think that is the best way to look at things and more importantly, people. We are far from perfect creatures and to judge people is to only judge ourselves. I've learned that in the last few years. I am far from perfect and this whole experience has definitely humbled me.

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  18. The only ones I really heard about was Charlie Sheen and Tiger Woods. It's said because the media just focused on the cheating. They didn't get to the root of the problem. Maybe porn really is the gateway drug to cheating.

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    1. In the case of Devin, it was the gateway to cheating. He started out with porn and that led to other things like adult websites with forums and chat rooms. Before he knew it, he was having online affairs and eventually that led a physical affair. The same thing happened to Crews. It started with porn and led to affairs. I can only assume it's similar to what I went through with drugs. I started with pot then escalated to cocaine but didn't realize that cocaine would get me hooked. It's just crazy to look back on it all. A way to numb the emotional pain only caused more.

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  19. I saw the videos he posted already (big Terry Crews fan) and just love the positive spin he put on them. Now I love him even more, and I agree with him 100% - too much porn is dangerous for anyone. After enough time people get a warped idea of what sex is (since porn is nothing like real sex), and they start to see people as objects. That's not healthy for anyone.

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    1. That's awesome, Bryan! I'm so glad you already saw the videos! That means that people who wouldn't normally watch them are seeing them and that makes me happier than you could possibly know.

      Wait, what? Porn isn't anything like real sex? You mean if I order a pizza, an orgy isn't going to break out? Or if I need my toilet repaired, a hot plumber isn't going to show up? What the heck??? What a rip off! I feel misled! Who can I sue?

      Seriously, though, you're right, that's the absolute truth. People are seen as objects and not humans and before long the emotional connection is lost. That's what people fail to recognize. Sex addiction has nothing to do with sex. It's about emotional intimacy, or lack thereof.

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  20. It’s their cooperation makes it possible! The support is very important in rehab, though the dark man’s wife could have felt cheated but she didn’t left him to destroy unlike the case of others. Hope you both make it possible too… All the best

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    1. It is very true, Jeevan. It is up to the addict to work hard on their recovery and when the spouse sees that their partner is working hard, they are more inclined to stay and work hard on their relationship too. Thank you, as always.

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  21. Addiction is such a tricky thing. I think a lot of people think that the things they "try" can't be "as harmful", but the anything can be harmful if you can't handle your consumption of it anymore. But then, a lot of people start out on these dark paths thinking that they "can handle it", only to be sorely mistaken.

    As for the influence of finding out that celebs are addicted to porn/sex... I don't really think about it much, since I don't particularly look up to celebrities. It's just that the quality of their art never really equated to who they are in the private sphere. At least not in my eyes.

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    1. You're so on point, Misha. I think the mistake many people make is thinking that certain things won't harm them when in actuality it can very be the very thing that gets them hooked, like porn or speed or whatever it is that gets it's claws in them.

      I'm kinda like you in the sense that I don't really "look up" to celebs but I do feel they have the ability to use the media in a way that I certain don't. They voices are far reaching and I'm grateful Terry Crews is using his in a positive way. :)

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Thank you for taking the time to comment. I'm here to help any way I can.