Saturday, April 19, 2014

"Q" is for Quitting: A-Z Challenge

Q is for Quitting
My dad educated me about many things while I was growing up.  He taught me to respect myself and others.  He educated me about the birds and the bees.  He imparted words of wisdom on how to be thrifty.  My dad was a master at pinching pennies.

One of the best things my dad taught me was never to quit.  It was okay to fail, but it wasn’t acceptable to give up for fear of failure.  He wanted me to try my hardest at whatever it was I was pursuing.  Then, he expected that I take that determination a step further and give it even more than I thought I had in me.  Just so long as I didn’t give up in defeat.  He wanted me to learn it was better to try my best at something than assume I couldn’t do it at all.

Bing!
He was a great example to follow too.  Dad had many triumphs that I was able to enjoy with him.  He also had many failures but it wasn’t for a lack of trying.  That man didn’t even let a triple by-pass slow him down back in the 70s.  He took a few months off from work then was back at the grind before we knew it.  After a stroke left him partially paralyzed in the 90s, he became determined to walk again. By God, he did – with the help of his tripod cane.

He just never quit and I learned that trait from him.

When my first husband died, I refused to give up on life.  It would have been easy to sit on the couch, continuing to grieve, and not find some sort of silver lining in the clouds.  But, I remembered my dad’s determination and that inspired me.  I got up off that couch, got a second college degree, and landed a great job.  (Which had nothing to do with the degree, but, meh, at least I went back, right?)

So, when I found out about my second husband’s sex addiction, I didn’t quit on him either.  Oh, trust me, the temptation to run away from it all was enormous.  The word divorce entered my brain dozens of times an hour back then.  Eventually though, I was able to pick myself up from the floor and recover.

Just like I didn’t give up on my husband, I didn’t give up on myself.  When the days after disclosure filled with pain, I was determined to find some good in there somewhere, no matter how minute.  There was always something positive to focus on and remember not to quit.

Today is my dad’s birthday (I’m writing this in March) and I’m so grateful to have had him by my side the first twenty-eight years of my life.  Thanks dad.  You rocked!

Have there been things you were tempted to quit?  What made you keep going?

~~~@

This post is part of the A-Z Challenge.  Wanna see more?





36 comments:

  1. Dad sounds like a great person, Elsie! Mine hadn't taught me anything, sadly :)

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    1. My dad was awesome. They say only the good die young - he was that proof. I'm sorry you're dad wasn't the same for you, Dezzy. =(

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  2. You dad set an amazing example for you. I'm sure he was very proud of you.

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    1. He did, Alex. He rocked. He was great about letting me know how proud he was of me. From the time I was young until when he died.

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  3. Perseverance, like anything else, is a two-edged sword. Sometimes it's a good thing to do and sometimes it isn't. I have tremendous perseverance which has both assisted my greatly in life and yet hindered me in other situations. I've learned to subscribe to the philosophy of that old Kenny Rogers song "The Gambler" -- "You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run." The tricky thing is knowing which one to do, LOL!

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    1. And now that song is stuck in my head. Thanks, Debra! haha. It's true. You can't keep pushing forward during a hopeless, pointless situation. Banging your head against the wall will only leave you frustrated. Running isn't my best trait. I tend to stick around too long and get bit first.

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  4. Sorry about your dad and first husband.

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    1. Thanks, Ivy. I'm glad I had them both, they were great people to know!!

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    2. That's how I feel about my Mamam. She passed but her lessons are still with me when I am in the kitchen or at the market buying ingredients.

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  5. Sounds like an exceptional man. Faults and all, he planted a seed of courage that's now being spread through to other people by this one little blog on the internet. I'm thankful.

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    1. Thanks, D. He really was. What?! Faults?! There were no faults!! haha!! Aww, that's sweet of you to say about my blog. I appreciate you saying that. A ton.

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  6. I love this tribute to your father. I am sure that he is smiling from his vantage point on The Other Side. What a wonderful gift he gave you by teaching you to always do your best and to never quit. If you really want something, it is worth doing and doing your best!

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    1. Thanks, Robin. He's well worth it. He's my Guardian Angel for sure. He taught me so much while he was with me and continues to do so from Heaven.

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  7. Sounds like he had to right idea indeed, no matter what never quit. I'm just a stubborn sob, so won't quit either

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    1. It helps to have a stubborn streak. Makes it that much easier not to quit on yourself. And, well, yeah, cat, you are an SOB hahaha

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  8. I am an unapologetic quitter. I get frustrated easily, or if I'm doing something I hate, so I quit. I quit organ lessons b/c I abjectly refused to take part in the recital (I hated it anyway). I quit swimming lessons when an instructor told my parents I had Olympic swimmer potential. I didn't want to compete in any way, shape, or form, or get up early for practices, etc., so I refused to learn how to dive, and quit swim lessons after that. I quit tennis b/c I was forced to take lessons and I hated that too. The only things I try to stick with when frustrated are crafting and relationships.

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    1. I remember I tried to quit piano lessons but my dad wouldn't let me. I was so pissed. I eventually enjoyed it but it took a loooong time. Then, I was forced to take ballet. That didn't go over well at all. I messed up on stage and went running off. He caved on that one because I was too embarrassed to go back but, I did make it into toe - so that's pretty far for a young kid hahaha

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  9. Sounds like you were blessed with a fantastic father! :) God bless him and you. :) Keep moving forward!
    Thanks for coming by my blog. :)
    Where Legends Begin

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    1. I was blessed with an awesome dad, Bonnie. He rocked! Thanks for the return visit =)

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  10. I know how close you were to your Dad and how much you miss him. I think he lives on in you though with the way you live your own life.

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    1. I was very close to him. I was lucky to have the relationship I did with him while he was alive. I like to think he lives on in me and through me. It's a comforting thought - thanks!!

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  11. I think it was my grandmother who had the most influence over me. She's the one who seemed to have life figured out, including not quitting on yourself and others. :)

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    1. I'm glad you had your grandmother, Lu. I didn't have the chance to get to know mine, she died when I was fairly young. I hear she was a great lady though, much like yours!

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  12. its a good trait to have in life...as life can be pretty brutal at times and make you want to quit
    i know quite a few that have and they live a shell of a life now....which is sad....

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    1. I have friends from high school that never got out of the life we led. They just quit. It's sad. I talked to one last night. I used to try to rescue her but finally learned I can't. She has t rescue herself but I don't know that she ever will. She quit long ago.

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  13. Your father sounds like a fighter, and a truly admirable person. The fact that he had a stroke - in his 90s! -and walked again is remarkable. Sounds like you've done right by him :)

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    1. hehehe - In the 1990s. My bad for not making that a bit clearer. He died very young. In his early 60s. I hope I'm doing right by him. =)

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  14. Elsie, this post is inspiring. I guess we're all tempted to give up at one time or another, but somehow we keep going. Your dad sounds like an inspiration, which I know he was to you.

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    1. Thank you, J.L. I think that speaks volumes that we continue to keep going despite given hard times. It shows great fortitude in us =)

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  15. My stubbornness and refusal to quit came entirely from me. And that's about all I have.

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  16. Hi human, Elsie,

    Your beloved father left a legacy in your heart. Despite all the trauma you've endured, you never quit and your resilience is written within your inspirational words.

    Bless you, dear human. Have a peaceful Easter.

    Pawsitive wishes,

    Penny, the friendly host of the Alphabark Challenge! :)

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  17. What a great example to impart to the children, never quit and show them you can do more ~ Thank goodness for fathers to show us how to be the best of ourselves ~ Love the lessons from your brave father ~ Happy Sunday ~ Happy Easter ~

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  18. Wonderfully encouraging post! I, too, have felt like quitting many things, but with the help of God, I've been able to follow through on my commitments, I admire your spunk and determination to make your marriage work despite a debilitating disease to battle, and one not your own, but that of your most loved one. You are truly remarkable, and you have my wholehearted support.
    Tina @ Life is Good
    A to Z Team @ Blogging From A to Z April Challenge 2014

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  19. I thimk your dad was really sweet and you was really close of your dad Elsie:)
    A big hug!

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  20. I love how you end your posts with questions... I found that I did that today with a post...I like the idea of asking commentors to contribute...

    Have there been things you were tempted to quit? What made you keep going?

    I tell my students what your Dad told you... don't ever quit... quitting is not an option if one wants to win... ( I know that sounds trite)...

    I also teach them that failure IS acceptable...just don't fail and quit...

    Your Dad was a wise fellow...

    ~shoes~

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  21. Oooops... forgot to answer your question...

    Yes, I did almost quit.. permanently... my Dad died in February, '96, and then we filed for divorce in June, '96... it was bad... horrible...

    I did come close to quitting...

    But I didn't... and the person who I credit for saving me was my Dad... it's a long story...

    ~shoes~

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Thank you for taking the time to comment. I'm here to help any way I can.