Thursday, April 10, 2014

I is for Image(s): A-Z Challenge

I is for Image(s)

Images almost destroyed my marriage.




My husband was addicted to looking at pornographic images.


My self-image was shot when I compared myself to those women.



The image of my marriage was shot down after his diagnosis as a sex addict.


I chose to focus on happier images.


The beach was a calming image stored in my head.


My self-image was restored because I no longer compared myself to others.







This post is part of the A-Z Challenge.  Wanna see more?




 (all photos from Bing or me)

41 comments:

  1. All men will look at porn at some point in their lives and it has nothing to do with their partner.
    The faces are blurred, so is that really your wedding photo?

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    1. I think it's part of human curiosity for men (and women) to look at porn. Some can look and move along, while others look and it becomes obsessive.

      Tis me and my hubby on our wedding day. My real favorite photo isn't shown because, well, it's too revealing for our identities =P

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    2. I was going to ask the same thing but then I see here that it's too revealing for you guys. Anyway, from what I see it looks like a good day. Pretty dress, too.

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  2. I don't have one favourite image in particular, but there are a lot of things that do help put a smile on my face. Well done on not comparing yourself to others. I'm definitely guilty of doing that too much.

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    1. I would love to know what your favorite image is, Mark. It makes me wonder if it has to do with your furry friends or MLP or what???

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  3. My guy has told me that he likes porn too, although if he's looked at it since we've been together, I've no idea. He doesn't have a smart phone to do it from the road and i can see what's on his computer screen when he's home. So if he has looked at it, it's if I leave to do an errand. He's told me over and over it has nothing to do with his attraction to me, that I'm #1 in his eyes and that he knows the women are all fake. But I've told him that I will compare myself to those women and my self esteem takes a beating. I know he has a couple porn tapes in his old bureau in the back room but the VCR doesn't work thank god.

    I have lots of fave images though - couldn't pick just one. Pics of Victoria BC, San Francisco, just about anywhere on earth that is beautiful.

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    1. That was a really difficult concept for me to wrap my head around. That the women are simply objects in the photos, not "real" in his mind. I mean, why look if there's no emotional reaction being produced? (aside from the obvious physical reaction) He explained it was all a world of fantasy. In his case, it was a means of escape. Would you want to know if Russell looked? Or, are you better off not knowing?

      I follow a page on Facebook that highlights some of the most beautiful places on Earth. It's amazing. It's called Earth Porn. (ironically)

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    2. It's called Earth Porn. (ironically)

      That IS a nice site!

      ~shoes~

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  4. Hi human, Elsie,

    Your images, of sad times,of frustrating times, of hopeful times. You have the image of the happiness and hope of the new adventure that was marriage. Now you have the image that starts from within and transcends a pawsitive image to the world beyond.

    My favourite image is of my human brother, Tristan, holding me in his arms when I was a puppy.

    Pawsitive wishes,

    Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!

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    1. Hi Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!

      The story I read at your blog last night had me in near tears! You furry friends do that to us, really pull on our emotional heartstrings.

      I would love to see that picture of you and Tristen. I wonder if it's on your blog...

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    2. Hi human, Elsie,

      My human and I thank you for your thoughtful comment on that posting. Us animals certainly do convey the ethos of unconditional, non-judgemental love. If you wish to see the the photo of my human brother, Tristan and I, it can be found here :

      http://klahanie.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/its-all-about-this.html

      All the beast, um best,

      Penny :)

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    3. Thank you, Klahanie and Penny! I'm headed over to take a peek now. (That's really sweet of you to take the time to come back and give me the link!)

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  5. oh, it's the first time that I see any kind of image of you even if it's blurred :)

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    1. Well…there is the image Bryan from ABFTS did of me riding my turtle...

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  6. Images can really change a relationship and the way someone looks at themselves.. one of my favourite images are from my trip to Ireland last year *happy place* :)

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    1. They really can impact how someone feels. I really want to get to Ireland one day. It's such a beautiful country - or so I've heard.

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  7. Images are powerful. My favorite is always changing.

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    1. You know, Mel, you're right…mine change too with new memories but that wedding photo is at the top!

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  8. Seeeeee, the cat is right. You just don't want to admit it and blurred out the face. Poor old one eye, you can't compare to others anyway, a cyclops is as original as they come hahaha not sure I have a favorite image though. As for porn it was fun to look at in teenage years and such, but now kinda like who cares, real thing is better.

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    1. Nah, it's just that my beauty is so breathtakingly stunning, I didn't want people to injure themselves falling out of their computer chairs. Especially at work - then the boss would know you weren't working but really blogging.

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  9. I must admit that I don't get the need to watch porn. I think it inevitably makes the other person in the relationship feel less. I don't think that the person who does the looking sees it that way. Hmm. Maybe as writers/readers we have an active fantasy life that lives in our heads (and it is kind of like that). Many of my favorite characters in books are not real. I know that they are not real, but when I am reading them (and sometimes for long after), they feel real. And it isn't their looks or their bodies that make them real to me, though I do have an idea of what they look like in my mind... but it the essence of who they are that I find so attractive. Captivating. And I see that character as separate from real, living people... but in some ways it is real to me. Did that many any sense? I wonder if it is like that? The pictures are just a vehicle for the imagination to ride on. And it is all as real (or not) as a novel.

    As for images, if I feel the need to get peaceful in my mind I often will imagine myself at the beach with all of the sights, sounds, smells, and texture of the sand/water. My other favorite place is camp from when I was a kid. Those are woodsy images and there is/was a waterfall that I just loved. Sometimes I get close enough in my mind that it feels like I am still there.

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    1. This goes more toward the feeling like characters are real part in your comment - I love when a writer is able to make me feel like their character is my friend. When I can imagine how a character would react in a story because the author has evoked those emotions inside me, they have done exactly what I want to do when I write. I would love knowing people are attached to my characters the way I am to some of my favorite characters. I have one, Breunor Battlehammer, that pops up in my life every so often. I just adore him!

      I see myself at the beach too. It's my favorite place in all the land!

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  10. My two fur peeps and my children's' baby photos are the best.

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    1. Looking at old pictures always makes me smile!

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  11. I guess I don't think of images too much. Now, talk to me about favorite sounds..

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    1. I can imagine what fun at your house means, D - plenty of cool tunes and cold drinks come to mind.

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  12. Hey, I recognize that picture. Your face looks a little different, though. Hmmm, I can't place it... glasses, maybe?

    My favorite picture was my high school ID, because I wore an afro wig and for some reason the picture taker thought it was my real hair. Man, it was fun flashing this thing to people to prove to them I was 17+.

    Afro Man

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    1. You figured it out…I left my glasses on for the picture. Damn, can't trick you.

      That is now my favorite picture too. Not just because you look hilarious but because the photographer was goofy enough to think it was real. Clearly it's not...

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  13. I love my twins's pictures slways touching me!
    You and hubby in the wedding look ni e!
    Hooe uou feel better soon Elsie!;)

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    1. Thanks, Gloria. I'm feeling much better. I do look nice, don't I? Especially my make-up =P

      Pictures of the kids always make me smile too.

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  14. Nice to get a blurry glimpse of you at least. :)

    And, hmmm, my favorite photo is one of my son the first time he saw the ocean. Pure joy on his face as he ran from the waves.

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    1. Yeah…I'm not quite comfortable enough to release the "real" me into the world just yet (if ever).

      That's how I feel when I see the ocean - pure joy! I have a picture of my kids when they went camping hanging in my family room. They are so young and so very happy!

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  15. My favorite image is very close to the one I once posted of my two eldest children standing by a pond feeding ducks. The picture taken immediately following that one is almost identical except it is taken from a little further back and you can see my youngest in his stroller. He's turned toward the camera crying his little eyes out. The first picture is so serene and precious. The second is a more accurate reflection of life with 3 little ones.

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    1. I love how just a moment can change everything. The one with the kids looking all peaceful is the one we always hope for, at least during times that are fun. The one where he is crying is usually what we end up with instead. It sounds adorable. Reminds me of pictures of my boys when they went to visit Santa.

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  16. i have a pretty cool image of me and my boys on rocks in the midle of a river...they are 1 and 3...its cool...and one of my wife and i in college...both special to me...men are visually stimulated...its how the fantasy is sold...but you have to consider too how much air brush goes into that as well...

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    1. I tell may daughter about the power of air brush often. When we are standing in line at the check-out counter, I want her to know how much a model's picture has been altered just to make it on there. I love how the picture of your boys sounds. Aww, you and your wife have been together since college? Awesome!

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  17. Hope you feel better soon. Images can make a person feel cheeful. I have my son's photo in my wallet. Always try to be you - UNIQUE. that's what my mom told me one day. Like the clever way the post was written, and your humour which is seen in it. AtoZer http://www.writer-way.blogspot.com

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    1. I'm doing better today, thank you, Michelle. It's funny, I still have pictures of my kids when they were younger in my wallet. If someone asked me for pictures of my kids, I'd have to take my phone out to show them anything remotely current. Thanks for stopping by!

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  18. "My self-image was restored because I no longer compared myself to others." Yes, yes, yes, and yes. That's the key, isn't it?

    When I'm feeling angry, anxious, or stressed, my best image is of a wide open field somewhere in the mountains. There's no one around; the sky is a brilliant blue; the sun is shining with so much blessed light; the grass is green and soft and vibrant. That's my place of peace.

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    1. That field sounds like the perfect place to find peace, serenity. I turn to nature when I'm stressed or sad too. There's something so calming about being surrounded by nature that's so calming.

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  19. Do you have a favorite image?

    Yes... most of them have to do with Monument Valley... a place that brings me great happiness and spiritual release...

    ~shoes~

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Thank you for taking the time to comment. I'm here to help any way I can.