Friday, March 7, 2014

My Handsome Dentist and My Chaotic Mouth

“We’ll see you next week, Elsie,” the perky dental assistant said with a smile.

I attempted to smile in return but failed miserably.  The entire left side of my face was numb from Novocain.  Instantly, I thought of Bill Cosby’s comedic skit about the dentist.  It really did feel like my face was sliding off my skull.

I paid the bill and scowled at the sight of how much my next visit would cost.  The receptionist saw my half-grimaced face and said, “At least Dr. Jeff is handsome.”

She had a good point. 

~~~@   ~~~@   ~~~@

My poor dental health is not for lack of brushing or flossing.  Heck, several times a week I use an electric toothbrush after I brush.  Instead, it’s a result of how wacky my body has become over the last year.  Your teeth never lie.  (At least that's what my former-dentist brother told me.)

My body has rebelled against me.  I’m fairly certain my immune system held a conference with my antibodies while I slept.  They plotted and schemed on how to mess with me.  They decided to cause extreme fatigue and brain fog.  But, they grew bored with my lack of energy and confusion so they stepped it up a notch.  A decision was reached to cause pain in all my joints. I feel like I'm ninety when I try to move.
From Bing.  I guess this is anti-rnp.  I'm no doctor.
Still not satisfied, the little buggers took it a step further and planned an all out assault on my liver.  They weren’t anticipating my super smart migraine specialist.  She tested me for everything under the sun.  Once I tested positive for ANA and anti-RNPs, well, it was game on buddy.

Off I went to the rheumatologist, then the gastroenterologist.  More blood work was drawn, more conferring with me, and now…well…I still don’t know what’s wrong exactly. I know it’s an autoimmune disease and it’s totally treatable. 

Also, it’s a bad idea to Bing any disease your doctor thinks you may have.  According to WebMD, I should be on a transplant list.  Or dead.  According to the Mayo Clinic, I’m going to be right as rain once I start medication.  I trust Mayo way more than WebMD.  Only because it's working in my favor to do so.

One thing is for certain, in the next month or two (or three or four), my immune system will return to doing what it’s supposed to be doing: protecting me, not attacking me.

In the meantime, at least I have a handsome dentist to take care of the chaos my body caused to my teeth.
~~~~~
When was the last time you saw your dentist?  Was it a good experience? 

41 comments:

  1. The first time I saw my dentist was a pleasant experience, the last few have not been so good. I actually got a letter asking me to rearrange an appointment in January. I still haven't. But my oral hygiene is picking up so maybe I should go back in. I just got tired of being told how bad I was at brushing my teeth and taking care of my mouth. I didn't need that when I was depressed. I hope your body fixes up soon Elsie. It's not good to be in that kinda shape.

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    1. I remember your posts about the dentist, Mark. It was right around the time I was getting my crown done. Fun. Fun. Yeah, you should go back and keep your teeth in the healthy place they got them. Thanks for the well wishes, Mark!

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  2. I saw a dentist last spring for an exam and cleaning. Apparently I have a cavity in one of my wisdom teeth (but it doesn't bother me at all). She wanted to fill it, I told her to pull it. Extraction is free w/ my insurance but filling costs money that I don't have. So she backpeddaled and said to keep an eye on it. Then the cleaning was so painful that I was on soft food for 2 days. I will never go back to them again. Before that I saw a dentist several years ago in WA when I had good ins. and it was a fancy schmancy office, but again, they could never give me enough novacaine to do any work...he was anti-nitrous oxide. NEED the nitrous!

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    1. Yikes, JoJo! That's horrible. I got really lucky with my last two dentists. The one I had in Louisiana accepted payments from me because I had no insurance. She also had the best bedside manner with the kids when they were young. This guy now just cut me a deal on finishing up my crown. (It's only been temp for a year haha). He's a great dentist. Funny and handsome!

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  3. my dentist is also a hot little item and we usually flirt when me is there :)
    Sorry to hear about your immune system. I have problems with mine too,but I strongly believe that most of our immunity problems are caused by stress and our mind.

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    1. Good for you, Dezzy. Flirting is good for your soul =) I'm so sorry to hear you're having immunity problems too. They suck something fierce.

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    2. It really is good for the soul :) Our last dialogue went like this:
      MY DENTIST: 'Dezzy, I shall now put my stuff into your mouth now'
      NAUGHTY ME: 'Oh, I wish. You know, nobody does me the way you do' :)
      MY DENTIST: 'I like doing you, Dezzy' :)
      Twas, such an ambiguous dialogue, wasn't it? :)

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  4. Oh gosh I hope you feel better soon and that your immune system bounces back stronger than ever! I have an intense loathing of going to the dentist. Eek!

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    1. I think I'll be fine once all the testing is concluded. My hope is that it turns out to be just a new round of meds I take for the rest of my life. I can handle that just fine!

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  5. I hope you feel well soon dear Elsie.
    I need a handsome dentist your sounds perfect lol
    xxxx

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    1. Thanks, Gloria! I'm sure I'll be just fine a few months =)

      My handsome is young, handsome, and gentle. You're right. He's perfect!

      xoxoxo

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  6. I see my dentist every six months for a cleaning. There was a time in the Navy when it had been quite a bit more than that. After rinsing and spitting a lot of blood and being castigated for "flossing with barbed wire," I changed my poor dental hygiene ways. Glad I did. Plus, I have other uses for all that barbed wire.

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    1. They are making me come in every three months, then six months, then once a year. I'm going to know that staff very well. My hubby is a stickler about his oral hygiene. Same thing, it came from being in the military.

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  7. Had one awful dentist, hate that sucker(what rhymes with it) But yeah got a good one now. At least as good as any dentist can be, yuck to the bills too. You sound like you are as f-ed up as me. And yeah internet said i had everything from parasites to the plague lol just stupid arse gluten, crummy immune systems should know how to work right

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    1. Hmmmm, what rhymes with sucker? mucker? pucker? luckier? <--close enough

      Those bills are absolutely insane. I mean, really, how can it cost so much to put a filling in my mouth?

      The docs gave me the name of the disease they think I have so, of course, I Binged it. Big mistake. Then, once it was clarified by the third doctor, he said, "just to make sure, I want you to do two more blood tests, then maybe a biopsy." So, I figure there's no point in naming it until I have to. haha

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  8. ha. the dentist is not my favorite person...
    sounds lik eyou have a good one though and i am glad they can patch you up as well...
    get your immune system back where it needs to be....
    and i def never google my symptoms
    i would probably be dead many times over...ha

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    1. My dentist is definitely doing patchwork on my poor mouth. But, it's way better than having to get dentures in ten years! I think my immune system will be on the mend in about two months. It's just having to wait for my gastro guy to say, "okay, take these meds" that's getting annoying ha

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  9. Oh my God. I went through exactly the same thing as you about 6 years ago. I had all the same battery of tests. Something was definitely wrong, but even after a year there was no definitive diagnosis. Just an autoimmune disease. Well, it got better and can come and go for short periods of time. Truly I think it was associated with menopause as this seems to happen to a lot of us women.

    I hope you get to feeling better soon as this is such a drag.

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    1. Ugh. That is so not what I wanted to hear =P

      Menopause. Blah!

      I'm pretty much just waiting for two more blood tests for them to confirm the diagnosis. I feel like it's hurry up and wait at this point. I planned on visiting my mom in May but now I'll have to put it on hold until they figure out WTH is going on. I can't travel like this. People would be shoving me out of their way, I move so slowly haha

      The autoimmune disease they think I have is supposed to do the same thing. Come and go. I'm so sorry to hear you can relate to this. It sucks out loud.

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  10. I hate the dentist, I have an intense distaste of needles!

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  11. Make sure you're eating lots of foods with anti-inflammatories. I forget what those are, at this very moment, though, and I'm about to head to class so I don't have time to look them up. Onions? Stuff with anti-oxidants.
    Mostly, I avoid the dentist other than making sure my kids go. I'd rather spend my money on their teeth than mine.

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    1. I've been eating a lot more than I used to. My favorite new thing to put on breakfast is blueberries. Thankfully, they are coming back in season so I won't be paying $5 a carton. I also cook quite a bit of Indian food, so that works out well.

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  12. I hate going to the dentist. While he is a nice guy, I have horrible issues with my teeth, which started around the time I was pregnant with my twins and my liver started to shut down. I will hope that your issues are along the lines of the Mayo Clinic info as opposed to WebMD.

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    1. I think it's totally amazing how much our health effects our teeth. My brother said he could always tell who ate well, drank too much and had health problems. Hope your health worries are behind you, TaMara!

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  13. My dentist was also a vet. He never caused me any pain - he was too damn scared.

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  14. Auto-immune disease?! You are scaring me! Please get better soon!!!

    I have to go to the dentist every three months. I hate it. They give me nitrous every time. I do like that.

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    1. No need for you to be scared if I'm not. I figure I'll take it as it comes. How come my dentist is the one one who doesn't hand out the nitrous gas like candy??

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  15. Sorry tp hear about pain Elsie. Hope you feel better soon.
    Did you try that kid after dentist YouTube impression like John Levitt?
    My dentist is handsome too but i am sure he was a torture specialist in his prev life. All his patients need lot of painkillers after treatment from and receptionist always asks "was it Dr.xxxx?" yeah you need painkillers whereas other dentists there aren't like him both in looks and inflicting pain.

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    1. Thanks, mamtc! I need some good drugs like that kid on YouTube. Am I considered a bad parent if I admit I recorded my son when he got his wisdom teeth out? Funny stuff. He tried to use the ice pack as a cell phone. Yikes! Your dentist sounds terrible. haha

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  16. Yikes, Elsie! That sounds awful! Please let us know if there is anything we can do to support you through this! <3

    (And yes, having a cute dentist does help. My current one has long nose hairs and hums show tunes while he looks in your mouth. ..I think you win on this one!)

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    1. I appreciate it, AJ. Having my blogging buddies around me has been a huge help. Writing and blogging are great ways to distract me from what's going on. I had to laugh at the image of some big-nosed hairy guy working on your mouth while humming music. I'll take my guy over yours any day!

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  17. I've currently fallen out with my dentist - mainly because of the hygienists. High turnover and each one of them has a different opinion - all to sell me more stuff, I've finally decided.
    Hope all this doesn't stop you doing the #atozchallenge in April :)
    Jemima
    #TeamDamyanti
    Sign up for the A to Z Challenge Theme Reveal Blogfest!

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    1. That just plain stinks, Jemima. I once had a dentist who had awful hygienists. I didn't last there for long. I really thing they make a big different in treatment. My current office is really understanding about how expensive dental work can be.

      No way! I'm totally doing A-Z. It's too much fun not to join in =)

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  18. The last time I went to my dentist he left a really sour taste in my mouth (pun intended). Had a crown put in, which was insanely expensive and took 2 days. AFTER he was done he tells me, "You know, we probably should have done a root canal on that tooth. If you ever feel pain underneath that crown, we can tear it out, do a root canal, then put another crown on."

    Uh, no. I'm not doing that (and paying that) all over again. Never went back.

    A few family emergencies popped up but that e-mail I promised you is coming soon. I can't catch a break. Sheesh.

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    1. And a funny pun it was.

      I would have been totally pissed if I heard him utter those words. I have been through a couple crowns and root canals. They are so damn expensive. It's ridiculous. I say rip the sucker out and give me a new one! I still have a temp on one of mine because I can't afford to get it finished yet. It's only been a year and a half. But, he's cutting me a deal so I'll get it next month. Maybe.

      I got your email. Thank you!!

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  19. Well this is intense, I'm sorry to hear all of this sabotage going on.

    I saw my dentist a few weeks ago. I ate my tooth, swallowed it. It was a temp but apparently it was also delicious.

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    1. I love that word for it - sabotage. Consider it stolen. Thanks.

      Also, I loved seeing a new story at noses. Thank you!!

      Is this for realz? You swallowed your tooth? I think you have your next story...

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  20. Oh Elsie, I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles. I can certainly relate to the illness thing...Thanks for your support. It means the world to me. I'm so glad we met through The A-Z Challenge!
    As to the dentist, I was there last week! My teeth are doing great except the one that's had cavities and then a crack fixed over the years and will need a crown in the next year. Yippee! I need another medical bill...at least it doesn't hurt.
    And yes, no googling diseases. Learned that the hard way...
    Tina @ Life is Good
    A to Z Team @ Blogging From A to Z April Challenge 2014

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    1. I hate knowing you can relate too, Tina. You're such a sweet and kind person. I'm grateful to have meet you through the A-Z Challenge (before it even started, how awesome is that?)

      Ugh, I don't envy you getting a crown. Been there, done that. My poor credit card is filled with medical bill payments. Blah!

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