Thursday, February 27, 2014

Thanks For Sharing

“Thanks for letting me share.”

“Thanks for sharing.”

 Anyone familiar with Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-anon, or any of the numerous twelve-step programs out there, have heard those words.  Even people not in the rooms have heard them. 

And, that’s a great thing.

It means twelve-steppers, such as myself, are accepted in society.  We are not outcasts.  Well, most of us.  I pop into AA meetings when I’m in need of some emotional sobriety.  There’s nothing like a good meeting to fill up the ol’ emotional cup.

But, AA is not my core group.  The meetings I attend every week are ones that aren’t quite accepted in our culture just yet.  Mine is S-Anon.  It’s a program for partners, families, and friends of sex addicts.  It’s a lot harder to tell someone what my meetings are about without them casting judgment. 

If my neighbor asked where I was headed with my book bag every week, and I told them, “I’m just hitting an AA meeting.”  They’d probably say something about how proud they are of me, or wish me well.  If I said, “I’m attending S-Anon because my hubby’s a sex addict.”  Their response would probably be more like, “I thought that was just an excuse to cheat on your spouse.”  Or, “Why are you still with him?”

Sex addiction hasn’t reached the understanding in our culture like alcoholism, drug addiction, or even food addiction, have done.  It’s still taboo.  I’m hopeful with movies like, Thanks for Sharing, the public will understand just how real the disease is, and how much it affects the addict and their family.

Thanks for Sharing is the best movie I’ve seen about sex addiction.  It had almost every element of the disease covered.  Of course, I would have liked to have seen a partner after disclosure. But, hey, it’s not about us. It’s about the addict…keep your side of the street clean, Elsie!

The movie follows three sex addicts on their journeys of recovery.  Tim Robbins’ character plays a married addict who has been in solid recovery for a long time from alcoholism and sex addiction. (These two addictions often coincide).  

Mark Ruffalo is a sex addict who has been sober for five years.  He feels ready for a relationship, and dates Gwyneth Paltrow.  Her character was very reminiscent of me when I first met Devin.  There was a line when she said, “You’re not an alcoholic are you?  I just dated two in a row, and I don’t want to date another addict," that nailed it for me.  I said the same thing to Devin. *ahem*  

The third character, played by Josh Gad, is new into the world of recovery. He lies about his day count in the beginning of his recovery. Then, he meets Pink. Together they navigate the rough seas of sobriety.

I was so grateful I found this movie.  It didn’t paint sex addiction in a horrible light. It didn't portray the addicts as monsters.  Rather, the disease was represented with profound respect and understanding.  I can’t tell you if the scenes about the SA meetings were accurate, (I didn’t feel it was right to ask Devin), but from the way the rest of the movie depicted everything, I’m sure it was. 

I think this is a safe movie for a sex addict and their partner to watch if they are on solid ground in their recoveries. I don’t think there will be any triggers.  I feel this was done intentionally so sex addicts could see the movie.  There is blurred nudity, scenes with Paltrow in lingerie, and some acting out behaviors are alluded to, but not shown.

As much as I would love to tell you guys what happens in the movie, I’ll refrain.  I don’t want to spoil it.  Instead, I’ll just say, if you’re interested in understanding sex addiction, watch this movie.

I’m glad I did.

What was a good movie find for you?

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Count Me In

I made a pretty big decision the other day.  I decided to join in on the fun of the A-Z Challenge.  At first, I threw the idea out in my mental wastebasket.  I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to commit to such a big bloggy fest.  Then I changed my mind, and dug the idea back out of the garbage.  Don’t worry, it was in the recycle bin, so it wasn’t covered in dinner scraps.

I felt like the A-Z Challenge would be a great way for me to plant my rear in my chair, and get some writing done.  I keep telling myself I’m going to get on a schedule for my writing, but I never actually do it.  I schedule the same way I write, by the seat of my pants.  That has to change.

So, in the month of April you’ll see daily posts from moi.  But, wait.  It gets better.  I’m also a minion for Ayjay at Naturally Sweet.  You can tell because of the badges in this post and on my sidebar.  Jeremy from {Being Retro} created them.   Dang, he’s good.

It was recommended, I do a theme for the Challenge.  One that was similar to the subject of my blog.  That’s right, my Hooligans, most of the posts will be about sex addiction.

I figured a few things could happen by making sex addiction the subject of my posts. I bore the crap out of everyone, or I can help educate people about its existence. Let them know how it effects a regular ol’ (make that young) couple.  Not just what people see and hear from the media.  Like Tiger Woods and Anthony Weiner.  It really does happen to us (almost) normal folks.

Maybe I’ll even reach someone who is desperately looking for answers, or needs to know they aren’t alone.   That would be freakin’ awesome.  I’d love to let someone who is going through the same thing know that there is hope.

If you want to participate in the A-Z Challenge, here’s some information that will help you join:

Badges (They even have one for those who are supporters but not participating)

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One piece of advice I'd like to pass on - turn off your captcha.  You'll get more comments and follow up visits that way.

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Are you in the Challenge this year?  Have you ever participated?