Monday, December 3, 2012

Tools in my Toolbox


I walked into the familiar room and began setting up.  The smell of stale coffee hung in the air, paperwork from yesterday’s meeting from a different group laid upon the table.  I picked it up and placed it neatly back in it’s display rack for them.  I grabbed our group’s cloth bag and walked over to the small wooden table located in the center of the room.  The table was surrounded by a tiny, worn loveseat, a matching equally worn chair and half dozen metal chairs.

I laid out the brochures, as I had done week after week, month after month, adding to the stacks as our little S-Anon group had grown in size, and one brochure caught my eye.  It was about a sponsoring and being sponsored.  I picked it up and re-read it. 

I ran through its message in my mind about paying it forward, being a service to others and allowing others to be a service to you.  One person helping another person. Being instruments of God and being a helpful tool in someone’s toolbox.   

As I read through the literature again, the door opened and a new person walked through.  I welcomed her, showed her the brochures and listened to her story until other members arrived and we began our meeting.  The topic for the meeting was taken from the daily reader: the gift of sponsorship, the gift of service, the gift of having tools in your toolbox.

I shared that I had just been reading through sponsorship material before the meeting started and as I spoke I realized that wasn’t what I was meant to be sharing.  I knew I was meant to share my need for my tools in my toolbox instead.  That although I was one of the veteran members of the group, I still had a need to reach into my toolbox and use those tools; my sense of humor, my blog, a journal entry, phone calls to S-Anon members, service work, prayer, talking to Devin, Affirmation Cards, Steps, just to name a few, when my life became unmanageable because of triggers.

I had become complacent and hadn’t set up my own precautions for the upcoming passing of the two-year mark since my Disclosure Week. I have changed that now and I will keep working on not becoming complacent again.  I reached out to friends, family, God and most of all, Devin.  We spent another weekend communicating by our chiminea.

41 comments:

  1. happy to hear there was some cuddling next to the chiminea this weekend :)

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    1. That chiminea was well worth the purchase! Peanut joined us and we roasted marshmallows and then made S'mores - yummy!

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  2. By being the person who leads that group you're already a part of their toolbox. So you can kind of get away with talking about that. Complacency does lead to mistakes and errors though, so it's good you've realised that and kicked yourself back into gear.

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    1. One of the good things too, is I'm teaching one of the new people how to lead the group because we are "trusted servants" and shouldn't lead for to long. I fell into a line of thinking that I didn't need to reach to deeply into my toolbox anymore and that's why I was triggering so badly the other day, I think. As much as I don't want to look at the dates on the calendar, I have to realize if I don't, it's simply being in denial.

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  3. And the perfect thing about a toolbox is you can use the hammer and shut people up if they get on your nerves, just have a good lawyer on hand hahaha Sounds like all is going well and you had a weekend that was swell, although now the cat feels ill once more at his shore.

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    1. I can take that hammer and beat the cat, right? Oh, I must have read that wrong...my bad.

      Be careful you don't slip and slide all over your own yack, cat. I would feel so sad..no, wait, I wouldn't..not even for a second!

      Things are getting a bit better but I am bracing for a bit of storm as the days approach. The good thing is, Devin is too. LOL

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    2. haha the cat stole words from the guy below, damn he is grand at your shore. And pfft the cat will just trot off and let you slip on it when you try with the hammer, as your one eye will make you lose balance.

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    1. He is good like that, just be careful of his wretched cat!

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  5. Pat make me laugh amnd maybe I need a hammer sometimes but I think I cant use LOL
    Sounds absolutely nice I love when you talk about this moments dear Elsie:)
    still Im laughing!! the cat is terrible LOL

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    1. I would have to keep my hammer at a safe distance on some days. I'd be afraid I'd use it on the wrong things. In fact, I know I've used it on Devin recently and have had to tuck it safely away.

      The chiminea is a much better tool =)))

      The cat is a tool - a ho(e) that was spayed ha ha ha!!

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    2. yes haha!ah the cat is a crazy:)

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  6. Those tools in the toolbox? I need to use mine more. Thank you for the reminder. (((hugs)))

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    1. You're very welcome - but really, I think it came from my HP...hugs back at you, Cindy =)

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  7. I absolutely love what you do with this group Elsie, it's absolutely wonderful and for long may it continue. I'm glad to hear that you had such a good weekend, we all need to use the tools for our happiness and hopefully you guys use them to get these positive results for a long time to come.

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    1. Thank you, Matthew. It's not just me. We have several core members and it helps to have them there because they keep me inspired to attend every week. I had such a great weekend with Devin - we hit a rough spot but then iron it out and spent a wonderful time with the Peanut in front of the fire!!

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  8. How about that? A post without one of those warnings and not one mention of a migraine! Are you sure you're feeling ok? lol

    I know this is off topic but WTF is up with this weather? It's nearly 70 degrees in December! It's perfect weather to sit by a fire but still...I hope you weren't dreaming of a white Christmas!

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    1. I need to ramble on about a Migraine and make it a really long post with a warning. Maybe I'll just get on YOUR blog and ramble on like I've done so many times before ha ha ha!!

      I don't know, Dan. I had my windows open and the screen door open all day. I just now shut them all. It was perfect weather for me. It's going to be like that tomorrow too! I should hit the beach! Hmm, I wouldn't mind a white Christmas..

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    2. I haven't seen a white Christmas in years! Every year, I watch A Christmas Story and I get jealous of the fluffy snow falling perfectly to the ground. Only in the movies I guess!

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    3. We had a White Christmas after Christmas last year. It was so pretty! Then it was gross right after!

      Best movie ever, A Christmas Story!!

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  9. Love that sign. A sense of humor is so important for perspective. Couldn't survive without it.

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    1. If I didn't have a sense of humor, I'd be in the corner crying, or out in traffic screaming ha ha ha

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  10. Hi Elsie, I feel slightly out of the loop, as I've missed so much.

    Always late to the party I know but a massive congrats on the book. Next up, I've always said that you could write a self-help book and I still maintain that. :)

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    1. I've been worried bunches about you, lily. It's so good to see you poking your head out from under your blanket a bit.

      I'm just writing a book, nothing published or anything...I wish!! I'm not even half way through. Not even a quarter of the way LOL

      I am toying with writing a book on SA too. Why the hell not?? =P

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  11. Those tool box, specially humor (not hammer..he.he) and prayers are helpful, not only in these meetings but also in handling life's challenges ~ Sounds like you had a good weekend ~ Take care Elsie ~

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    1. Awww, drats, Heaven! No hammer?? C'mon!! LOL Yes, prayers are very helpful. They keep the hammer in it's rightful place. I had a great weekend and I'm glad to read you are doing more writing again. I've missed seeing you.

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  12. So glad you and Devin continue to talk. Getting men to communicate is always so hard.

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    1. That's what the hammer is for, JoJo - I kid, I kid =)))

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  13. Its very easy to become complacent, in anything we do or say, well done for realising the fact and doing something about it!

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    1. That's so true, in all aspects of our lives. I needed to take a look around at a lot of things I've been doing and kick myself back into gear!

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  14. Eventually that anniversary will come and go without being marked as an anniversary. It will be a day the same as any other and when that happens you'll be well and truly past it.

    I'm so glad you two had another weekend around the fire. Such a perfect setting and it brought you harmony.

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    1. I can't wait for that day, Anne. I can't wait for that day to just pass without note just like the one did back in August. That one past with barely a nod and I had so much going on in my world at the time it wasn't worth caring about.

      That chiminea was one of the best surprises he has ever gotten me!

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  15. Go you, Elsie! These little realizations are what keep us human. Sometimes helping ourselves is as simple as helping each other. Or vice versa sometimes but that's not the point here. I'm just glad :)

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    1. I get so much out of attending those meetings I can only imagine how much further along I'd be if only I started going sooner. I love helping people and being helped by them. It's such an amazing thing!!

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  16. We are always a work in process God's hands on us have not finished!! I have to tell myself daily to keep working at communicating & quit letting my hubs take the shit end every time my appt. goes terrible. He rarely snaps back but I know reverse the roles and I would kick my butt out how he stays nice hmmm bless his lil soul for sure I am still working on being nice Elsie just wish a brochure would fall at my eye level to help remind me...thanks girlie <3

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    1. I can only imagine how rough those appointments can be Janice. My thoughts and prayers continue to go out to you and your family. You are one tough cookie and don't let that lady get under your skin. You're better than she will ever be!! God Bless, Janice!!

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  17. You make me so proud and I would think you would be a great sponser.

    Love,
    Meemaw

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    1. Awww, thank you so much Meemaw - that means the world to me!


      Much love and hugs!!

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  18. You make me so proud and I would think you would be a great sponser.

    Love,
    Meemaw

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