It was a long rough path to find my way towards finding forgiveness. It's something I've written about before and I find it's still a work in progress for me. I sway in the breeze of forgiveness both for myself and for Devin. I still find anger at people for small things they might do, promises they may make in passing and then fail to keep. My expectations can be held to high at times. I've had to examine the reasons why I've allowed them to become this way. Why I've allowed myself to be let down by others time and time again. When a person says they are a friend but then their actions show me otherwise. I must learn to release that anger, to forgive, to let go. Once I do that, I can find that place of compassion for them as I did for myself and Devin and even the affair parters.
Finding forgiveness replaces those feelings of anger, resentment, hatred and bitterness with peace, empathy and love. It's like a breath of fresh air after having lived in such a deep turmoil for so long. At least it was for me.
I saw this floating around Facebook today and I thought, hell yeah, I'm strong. I may have had a rough trigger the other day but I am one tough chick. I have been hurt like nobody's business and now I appreciate my marriage even more and so does Devin. We are by each other's side this weekend making sure we are replacing the crappy memories from disclosure week with better memories.
After his doctor appointment yesterday, we went out to lunch and then went Christmas shopping and then spent the afternoon wrapping gifts and watching movies. Today we took the kids out to lunch and he fixed the key fob on my car - Go Him! On tap for tomorrow - duh...Football!!!
As for our anniversary - we haven't gotten that far yet.....