Saturday, May 5, 2012

Strength





The world to me has always been black and white. 

I’m learning to see the grey.

I equated myself to a mighty and solid oak tree, unwavering and strong.

Now I see it’s better to be a tall and majestic palm tree, able to bend but not break.

I make mistakes but am remorseful.

I learn from those mistakes I have made and try not to repeat them.

I am happiest when I am with my family.

I continue to fight to keep my family whole.

I am strong.

I keep getting stronger.

34 comments:

  1. Beautiful affirmation, Elsie! I love the concept of finding our own strength when everyone else expects us to crumble, sometimes when even we are doubtful we can hold together. We are stronger than we believe, we are more resilient than we ever knew. I think you are amazing in your determination to move forward!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Josie. I believe that we never know how strong we truly are until we are tested. Then when forced to make a choice we to need search deep within ourselves, tune out outside influences and listen to what we want and we will find the strength to make it happen.

      I had to drag out the old affirmation cards again. Haven't had those suckers out in a long, long time. =)

      Delete
  2. I do think that some forms of strength require flexibility. Those buildings in Japan are built with steel, but have flexible underpinnings. When an earthquake hits your life, you better be able to bend or you'll break.

    Nice job with the verse Elsie!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Another great analogy, Anne. We have to realize that bending through the winds of change does not make us weak; it helps us learn and adapt and grow stronger.

      Delete
  3. This is so true and I think that's why people give up so easily. It's nothing now a days to get a divorce but so much harder to stick it out and make sure this is worth saving. I know you understand this and your heart wants so much for this to work that you are willing to jump through hoops and fire to make it work. I will continue to pray and you stay strong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's true, Meemaw. Marriage has become disposable in our society. It's sad. I am willing to work very hard on this marriage and as long as Devin does too, I will continue to stay. Thank you for your continued prayers, they are much appreciated.

      Delete
  4. I've always said from the moment I discovered this blog, that the thing I admire about you, is your determination and strength.
    You are strong but you're not hard. You have frailties but you're not weak.

    I love what you wrote about being able to bend and not break, because it's what opens us up to new possibilities, without fear getting in the way and halting the process.

    Slightly incoherent, haven't slept for 24hours but wanted to comment before I pass out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a somewhat new change for me because I used to see any type of change as breaking. I see now that it's okay to bend a bit in order to see what will happen as long as it doesn't change my core values or beliefs. It's okay to bend and see things in a different perspective because it allows me to see things in a whole new way.

      24 hours???? I hope you're alright, lily!! I hope lil man is okay?? Get some rest.

      Delete
  5. Great verse, you there is always a bit of grey thrown in there and one must be willing to bend a bit or the house of cards will come crashing down and be blown away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very good point, Pat. It all could come crashing down so easily if unwilling to bend; it will simply snap.

      Delete
  6. here's one of the best songs for a good catharsis, dear:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cflxpVVigU

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow!! Dez!! Just Wow! She is amazing! Her voice reminds me of Cher but with a better range (hard to explain) and the lyrics almost made me cry..just beautiful. Thank you, Dez.

      Delete
  7. So beautifully written girl!! Gets the point across with perfect wording :)

    The first line reminds me of middle school. In regards to the dress code our principle made an announcement: If it's grey stay away. For about 3 or 4 months, all of us didn't wear grey to school. Guess the point was lost in translation ;) hahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Jax!

      That'd be me..I would take it so literal too. The whole "everything is so black and white" in me would think, "wow, this guy must not like the color grey..better not wear it or I'll get suspended" LOL

      Delete
  8. Did you know that when trees are ravaged by hurricanes that the fibers inside twist and tear, like a muscle and that when they heal, they become stronger?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never heard that before, Bama. Runs along the lines of what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I like that sentiment. Thank you.

      Delete
  9. So glad to see you being strong! I love this post and not because it is short. ;)

    It gets right down to it and is open and honest. Strength. You can see it in this post!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hey! You got me back good today, Dan LMAO - your post was five of mine put together because I couldn't figure out how to get damn comic to work and kept getting your ass crack! So, yeah, thanks for that LOL. Which reminds me, I need to go try it on the other computer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It wasn't intended to be that way! But I'm glad you are getting a chuckle out of it! How many times can Dan moon Elsie in one day? lol As often as she likes apparently! lmao!

      Delete
    2. A lot in one day - *he he he*

      Your wife's video had me rolling too, BTW!! She's got a set on her!! I love it!!

      Delete
  11. Small, but powerful. I'm glad to have visited you. Thanks for stopping by my page.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, shockgrubz. I wasn't sure what to expect when I stopped by, but I'm glad I did...it made me smile!

      Delete
  12. I, too, am happiest when I'm with my family.
    I just hope they can say the same thing about me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Al, with you as a husband and dad, I know they are happy; you make them laugh and smile. Unless you are killing 'em in Scrabble.

      Delete
  13. The black and white vs shades of grey is interesting...

    An addicts thing? I don't know - my experience is many of us thing and act this way. Early in sobriety I had two illuminating lessons...

    first - speed cameras. A new one was installed in a village on the main road near a meeting I regularly attend. Guy comes in, huffing and puffing about it, thinks it caught him. An old timer says "I have foolproof way to beat all speed cameras". "really?" Just then - secretary calls the meeting to order. I had to know! At the end of the meeting "How do you beat speed cameras?" "Obey the speed limit"... brilliant! Total genius! Seriously - don't fight what you can't change - I often now think as my hackles rise... is this a speed camera moment?

    The other fantastic one was again - I was ranting about something... another great oldtimer who taught me a lot says "You know you could just of a moment consider the possibility they might be right?" Holy Cow - the shade of grey moment... there are always at least three sides to all stories... Mine, Yours and THE TRUTH!...

    ReplyDelete
  14. Why didn't you write this yesterday? LOL I really could have used it LOL Don't fight what we can't change...very good. He is still recovering from his relapse and I'm recovering from the disclosure.

    Common sense isn't so common after all, huh? I found myself slipping into some serious hyper vigilant behavior yesterday (yeah, yeah, normal after his relapse) but my rational mind was unable to override my irrational mind and despite all the tools I had available, I lost the battle.

    Instead of asking Devin the one question I wanted to ask him, saving me all this heartache...I tried to control my emotions alone. Control. Ugh. Asking him that one question and talking to him about it would have saved me all that hyper vigilant behavior.

    Once we got the communication part done..the TRUTH was out and we were both happy LOL

    ReplyDelete
  15. Your little statement up there is very true. It's the ability to push through it and come out on the other end emotionally alive and willing to keep going, that makes you someone to admire.

    You're strong and you have a big heart, i do not doubt you will provide the best possible outcome for your family that caters everyone's best interests - especially the babies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish I could take credit for the statement, I should probably edit that...it was one of those that gets tossed about Facebook...just the typed stuff is mine LOL

      I do take credit for the sentiment it holds though - that part is very true! Thanks YDB!!

      Delete
  16. I am so behind!! It feels like weeks since I've been able to catch up on my blog reading so it looks like a have a few posts to catch up here too! And that statement couldn't be truer. Sometimes I feel like a fool for staying...what kind of woman would even attempt to repair such relational damage? But for the time being, I'm here and I'm working on it. what can i say....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm still here too. We are not fools we just fell in love with addicts and that's all there is to it. As long as we don't compromise who are at the end of the day and our moral compass remains true to ourselves...it's all good!!

      Delete

Thank you for taking the time to comment. I'm here to help any way I can.